Culture, Courage, and Choice: A Native Birth Mother’s Journey Through Adoption

Jonessa Price sits down with Donna Pope on Choosing Adoption to share her story as a 28-year-old Native American birth mother from Arizona who placed her son for adoption. Her journey involved navigating the Indian Child Welfare Act, tribal expectations, and finding support when her own community couldn't provide it. Through it all, the relationship with her son's adoptive family became the bright light that carried her through.

 When Signs Point the Way   

Jonessa discovered she was pregnant while working the night shift. She and the birth father were happy about the pregnancy, but their circumstances didn't align with parenting together. Abortion never entered the conversation. Instead, they both knew their child deserved a family that could provide the life they wanted for him.

As a Native American, Jonessa believes in signs. One night at a clinic, she noticed a pamphlet for Heart To Heart Adoptions. Out of all the adoption information available, that single flyer resonated with her. She and the birth father saw it as confirmation that placing their child for adoption was the right path. When she called the agency, they responded quickly with support and information that made an incredibly difficult decision feel manageable.

The agency provided testimonies from other adoptive parents and answered every question Jonessa had. Despite lacking support from her tribe and the birth father's family, she felt the agency created a sense of home. According to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, approximately 135,000 children are adopted in the United States each year, with many birth parents citing agency support as essential to their decision-making process.

 Navigating ICWA and Tribal Expectations   

The Indian Child Welfare Act establishes priorities for Native American children in adoption. The law generally requires birth parents to consider placement with kin first, then with members of their own tribe, then with members of any Native American tribe before considering families outside the tribal community. For Jonessa, this created added pressure during an already stressful time.

The birth father didn't want involvement beyond the biological contribution, eliminating his side of the family from consideration. Jonessa's side of the family didn't include suitable parents for her child. The tribe kept asking for verification and information, adding emotional stress that felt overwhelming for both her and her baby's health.

Native American communities pride themselves on family-supporting-family. But Jonessa didn't experience that support when she needed it most. She felt it wasn't right to place her child with people who expressed tribal pride about family bonds but couldn't demonstrate that support for her actual situation. Research from the National Indian Child Welfare Association shows that while ICWA aims to keep Native children connected to their culture, birth parents' rights to choose appropriate placements remain legally protected.

 The Right Family Changes Everything   

Finding the adoptive family stands out as the highlight of Jonessa's adoption experience. She met them and spent several days getting to know them. The connection felt immediate and right. Looking back now, she calls them the best choice she's made.

Donna Pope explains that in difficult situations like Jonessa's, the relationship with the adoptive family becomes the bright light. It's something that brings joy even during sadness and struggle. Birth mothers feel the adoptive parents' happiness, and that joy helps carry them through their own grief. This is why finding the right family matters so much in any adoption.

The American Adoption Congress reports that birth mothers who maintain positive relationships with adoptive families show better long-term emotional outcomes. Jonessa experienced this firsthand when she traveled to Utah to deliver rather than staying in Arizona, where she didn't feel comfortable with ICWA enforcement. She needed to be somewhere she felt supported every minute.

 Life After Placement   

Today, Jonessa maintains an open adoption relationship with her son's family. They send pictures and updates regularly. She affectionately calls him "our little light," emphasizing the shared nature of their love for him. The adoptive family remains her bright spot, and knowing they're raising her son well while maintaining connection with her provides ongoing peace.

When asked what advice she'd give agencies, Jonessa had only one suggestion: more hugs. She describes Heart To Heart Adoptions as amazing and feels they handled everything perfectly. Her main advice to other Native American women and all birth mothers facing similar decisions is simple: Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug, and remind yourself the decision is hard but you know it's the best you can do. Support is always there.

Research from Child Welfare Information Gateway indicates that approximately 60-70% of domestic infant adoptions include some form of openness, allowing birth parents to maintain connections with their children and adoptive families.

 Your Right to Choose Support   

Donna Pope validates something every birth mother needs to hear: You are smart enough and you have the right to make choices about where you receive support and help. Jonessa's story challenges assumptions about tribal requirements and reminds us that birth mothers deserve agency over their own adoption journeys.

The relationship with the adoptive family proved to be what really mattered in Jonessa's experience. They will be good to her son, they will raise him well, and they will maintain their relationship with her. That connection sustains her and brings light to her life.

Birth mothers navigating tribal expectations, family pressure, or simply seeking the right path deserve support that meets them where they are. Jonessa found hers, and her son thrived because she trusted herself to choose what felt right.

Listen to Jonessa's complete story on Choosing Adoption and discover how other birth mothers found their way through difficult decisions. Subscribe for more real stories that honor every voice and every journey.

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