She Said the Family Had a Light Around Them

Victoria Slappy never planned to become an expert on all three sides of the pregnancy decision, but life gave her the full range. An abortion at sixteen that still haunts her. A first adoption that dissolved into silence after six months. And a second adoption that built a family bond she never expected. On this episode of Choosing Adoption, she holds nothing back.

Two Adoptions, Two Realities

Victoria walks through the devastating contrast between her first adoption, where the adoptive family cut all contact and pursued legal restrictions, and her second, where the family embraced her, her husband, and all five of her daughters as extended family. She explains what made the difference: authenticity over performance, cultural awareness, and a willingness to treat the relationship like a partnership rather than a transaction.

What Abortion and Adoption Taught Her About Choice

At sixteen, Victoria chose abortion under family pressure and has counted that baby's birthday every year since. Years later, pregnant again and already parenting five daughters, she chose adoption and describes the pregnancy as an unexpected surrogacy, one where she treasured every kick and heartbeat because she knew it was her last time with him. Her side-by-side emotional comparison of both experiences is something every person navigating this decision deserves to hear.

Advice for Birth Parents, Adoptive Families, and the Children They Share

Victoria delivers direct guidance for adoptive families: stop performing, be organic, and understand that a birth mother can tell the difference between a sales pitch and a real person. She also sounds a critical warning about open adoption agreements in states like Ohio, where they function as moral contracts with no legal enforcement after rights are signed away.

Listen to the full episode on Choosing Adoption to hear Victoria's complete story and the message she has already recorded for her son to hear someday.

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